Unfortunate-Faced Florida Man Scares Playground Kids Into Abstinence: Report

I know we should never judge a book by it’s cover but DAYUM! This dude looks scary as hell!

Besides oranges, sun and beaches, it seems as though nothing good comes out of Florida. No offense to Floridians, but to further push the “Florida Man” news meme, here’s yet another “Florida Man” story. Thirty-year-old Otis Ryan was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after he thought it’d be a good idea to head to a Clearwater Beach, Fla., playground, get atop a ride, and teach kids all about the birds and the bees.

Ryan was arrested Sunday, and the police officer’s arrest report described what transpired at the park, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

“I watched [Ryan] walk over to the busy playground area and climb to the top of one of the children’s toys that was being occupied by children between the ages of 4 and 6,” the officer wrote. “He then started shouting from the top telling the children that babies come out of women. At that time, parents were rushing to the area to remove their children.”

Apparently, Ryan has a history of being a nuisance in the area. After being found guilty of this latest offense, he was told never to return to the park and he received a $118 fine, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

Next week, another Florida man will attempt to “hold my beer” and do something even crazier. I think the sun is to blame.

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